"Sittin' on a fence post, chewing my bubblegum"

"Sittin' on a fence post, chewing my bubblegum..."  These words from one of my favorite pre-kindergarten songs keep running through my head today.  Yes, I am back at school and have tried to focus on preparing my classroom, heart and mind for 40, 4-year-olds and their families who will start my class next week.  But these lyrics seem to be nagging at me for a different reason.

Many of you have heard about the Tropical Storm, Isaac, that recently made its mark throughout the Caribbean and is headed towards New Orleans.  Thankfully no one I know in Haiti was hurt and everyone's family seems to be okay.  The damage is unfortunate.  Lots of metal roofs were lost, trees blown over and crops destroyed.  People's food source and livelihood, gone.  In addition, there are concerns now about water sanitation, food availability and the return of electricity.

So, here is where I feel like Herman the Worm in what we call the "Yo-Yo" song who is found "sitttin' on a fence post, chewing (his) bubblegum."  I feel helpless.  I feel guilty.  I feel privileged.  I feel torn between the place and culture I am living in and the place and culture I left just a few short weeks ago.  I am not hungry.  I have a solid roof over my head.  I have access to have all of my needs met.

And I ask, "why?" Why has god allowed me to have these basic human rights when others don't?  Why do I get to choose what to order off a menu for dinner and my friends in Haiti are struggling to find any food at all.

Again, I have no answers.  I have no idea how to help the people of Haiti right now, while I sit in my bedroom that is larger than a family's tent in Port-au-Prince.

Yesterday's devotion from Sarah Young's Jesus Calling thankfully helped me do a little reality check.

"The best remedy is to refocus your mind and heart on Me...go step by step with me."

I keep saying, "all I can do is pray" and that seems so ineffective, intangible and unworthy.  "God please be with the Haitians during this time.  God help our Haitian brothers and sisters find food, clean water and shelter."

Tonight I took a moment to refocus that prayer.  "God, what would you have ME do?  How am I supposed to serve?"    If I am to keep praying, I will keep praying.  If I am to send money or supplies, I will try my best to make that happen. If I am supposed connect with people on the ground I will hope the electricity provides an opportunity.

I am still listening for an answer, but, to be honest, I feel better.